Friday, May 20, 2011

What I have Missed

I have missed out on the friendships that I had, in particular I missed out when the one person I most considered a friend online passed away. So distanced was I from the previous existence that I had created, that I didn’t even find out about her passing until nearly two years after she had passed. Kelli Ann Hopkins was a wonderful passionate person who I respected for her convictions and was an advocate for the cause of others. She will be missed! I have also missed the experience of being Michelle, but that is just an occasional thing, not real life.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Where have I been?

I have been on a hiatus of sorts, self-imposed as it was for various reasons, In a sense it still is ongoing. This current hiatus began just over five years ago with a purge, not my first one, but significant one none the less. I’ve done this several times throughout my life and later regretted it every time. Everything that was part of my feminine persona was discarded, every piece of clothing, jewelry, shoes, makeup, and wigs. Besides that I removed all content from the web that I had control of and deleted all images of Michelle that I had. Today the only images of me that remain in the public domain are few and are the only record of who I was back then, I only have access to a few of the images that the general public has with a little digging. I am sure there are a few individuals out there with a collection of my images, that’s great for nostalgic reasons! I haven’t been completely Michelle and out in public in over five years now. I know that this sounds sad, but I haven’t been sad for the last five years, only periodically. Overall I have been content and living my life, but there are those moments when one wonders, hence my reemergence.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Who Am I?

I call myself Michelle, not my legal name. Michelle is the name I gave myself, a choice that I made, versus my legal name which was given to me by my parents without any input from me. I am sure they had their reasons and I don’t fault them for it. I don’t have a problem with my legal name, it’s just that I have a persona that sometimes the legal name doesn’t seem to fit. My chosen name is Michelle Neiman Marcos. I have my own reasons for choosing this name, which I might address in some future post. You can call me Michelle or Shelley, which ever you prefer. The name fits my feminine persona, this persona is sometimes necessary, as it differentiates me from my male persona. Yes for all legal definitions, whatever that means, I am a man.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Why I am here

This is a place for me to express my feelings, thoughts, opinions, or just ramblings as they may come to me and as I choose to express them. It is a forum in which I feel like I can write about what I feel, think, see, and like that I may not be able to in the real world.